The Cheyenne Social Club had its own stable and corral, soz I left Jack there. I tipped the swamper to give Jack a rub down and make sure he had some oats and corn to munch on.I went inside and had one of them German beers what was so good. While I was standin' at the bar, Kilgore came in, in his wheelchair. I nodded to him, but he very pointedly ignored me, and I had to smile to myself. He wasn't busy, so I asked the bartender ifen Kilgore used one of the whores. He assured me that Kilgore did, soz my curiosity got the better of me, and I asked what he did, since he was paralyzed from the waist down.The bartender said that two whores get him from the wheelchair to the bed and undress him. One of the whores leaves, and the other one strips naked. She sucks on Kilgore's cock to make it hard. When he's as hard as he's gonna git, she straddles him and puts his cock inside her pussy. Then she bounces up and down on him until he comes. This takes a while, so she usually has a come, too,. I’m not cut out for much. I’m trying to be someone I can’t be. I can’t concentrate, and I’ve been sleeping so much.”“Why not start by taking a shower?”“And then?”“We’ll talk about it. What else can I say? You’ve got to take a shower sometime. You haven’t said prayers for a while. So start with a shower, and then we will overcome the next obstacle, okay?”“I don’t want to move unless it’s all laid out plain, and until that time comes, I’ll just lie here and daydream about it.”“You won’t get very far. By the time you think it out, you’ll be dead.”“One starts with his dreams. When you lose that, then your faith will be next. After that, you lie in bed and ponder how to get out of bed. What am I going to do? I don’t feel like getting up. I don’t feel like talking. It’s impossible to be anything in this place, to get married, to be a holy man. What’s so glorious about becoming a wise man of Islam? Is it nobility in being totally anonymous? It’s a prison. I’ve tried. I’ve done my best. I.
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